If you are thinking it is something to do with Hockey, then just read on! I would rather replace the word 'drag' with a more globally accepted term for it has a different connotations but I will let that be for now. The title is pretty appropriate for the way 'the act' happens.
The most surreally habitual, involuntary set of actions defines the genesis of this multi-daily routine. It started as a 'motion to deny' those who were seemingly reveling in its zephyr. There is the perception that one's nerves are assuaged by its indulgence. It appears to be the uber cool (won't know what that is though) thing to do even before you get yourself a degree to walk the talk in life.
It is supposed to be the pied piper for all those desperados who yearn for some meaningless attention. Most are under the delusion that it gets them into that 'class apart' strata of the already frivolous society. It manages to cast a cloud of illusions where the self-deprecating individual gets thrown in a realm of make believe. This is a world where one is the Lord, the King, the Invincible, the Ultimate in being-the-one. It infiltrates and cons the sane mind to portray a false impersonation of a rather staid individual who begins to think it is a style accessory.
Amidst all these myriad thoughts and theories, one gets hooked! And it'd be part of your routine. Unfortunately or rather fortunately for me, none of the above so called reasons were part of getting indulged. I stated the above as it is part of psychiatric folklore to associate the habit with being an answer to some non-sensical, self-deprecating reason for suffering from an intolerable case of insecurity. Huh!
It all started on 25 September, 1995 at about 2000 hrs. Minutes before that I was headed back to my hostel room to get some air after a pretty introspective evening about how the semester was progressing. Something in me told me to take a detour... and my feet took me to the All Night Canteen that was a hop away from my room.
Getting this monkey of a habit off yourself is a herculean effort. And believe me, I have lived with it for years. Millions of drag-flick acts later, I tend to realize the colossal waste of time and resources that was expended with pretty much no value add. It is a habit that needs a strong will to shake it off your routine. And mine is just getting stronger towards the moment when I will give it the final 'flick'! :)
Monday, August 25, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
High Time!
It has been long since I took an innocuous reprieve with the bottle . It was supposed to douse those fires. It was supposed to help me think better. It was supposed to cajole me as a friend when all else is lost. It was supposed to be my elixir.
It turned out to be a constant companion over the years which has been privy to every subtle nuance of my personal life that comprised a rollercoaster set of experiences. Comfortably numb was I in the shelter of the high that assuaged my spirit. So constant was its presence that a spare moment without it - outside the realm of the 'win my bread' routine - was unthinkable. Acquired or not, it was definitely gaining ground to be an indelible part of me.
It never asked for anything. It didn't need any occasion. It prodded you to embrace it regardless of which emotion you were feeling at any given point in time. And succeed it did, in a spirited way!
But then comes a time when you know that it fogged your mind all along, keeping your focus away from the more important things around you. It was a realization that can't be ignored. Everything ages with time but only the spirits age better with time. Not us.
Loyalties are profound and the love for the high is immense. But one has to move away from the lure in the interest of a more staid, responsible innings of the future. I have had my moments with probably my best non-human friend and will always cherish those boisterously funny, slurry, slippery, raucous memories. I will miss its constant presence but will reach out to it on a need to interact basis. I am sure my friend will understand the pain with which I will turn my back to it.
And I am sure when we meet again, we would smile to each other and say, "High Time!"
It turned out to be a constant companion over the years which has been privy to every subtle nuance of my personal life that comprised a rollercoaster set of experiences. Comfortably numb was I in the shelter of the high that assuaged my spirit. So constant was its presence that a spare moment without it - outside the realm of the 'win my bread' routine - was unthinkable. Acquired or not, it was definitely gaining ground to be an indelible part of me.
It never asked for anything. It didn't need any occasion. It prodded you to embrace it regardless of which emotion you were feeling at any given point in time. And succeed it did, in a spirited way!
But then comes a time when you know that it fogged your mind all along, keeping your focus away from the more important things around you. It was a realization that can't be ignored. Everything ages with time but only the spirits age better with time. Not us.
Loyalties are profound and the love for the high is immense. But one has to move away from the lure in the interest of a more staid, responsible innings of the future. I have had my moments with probably my best non-human friend and will always cherish those boisterously funny, slurry, slippery, raucous memories. I will miss its constant presence but will reach out to it on a need to interact basis. I am sure my friend will understand the pain with which I will turn my back to it.
And I am sure when we meet again, we would smile to each other and say, "High Time!"
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